Sunday, April 12, 2009

5 degrees that are better than an MBA

A degree that's better than an MBA?!?  Surely no such thing could exist.  

But if by "better" one means a program that 1) teaches skills that could be applied to a job-type situation, 2) transitions directly to a job that pays actual money, and 3) doesn't sink the student into a quagmire of debt so deep that offing your rich Uncle Monty seems like a viable repayment plan....if that's what is meant by "better", perhaps there are some other options out there.

1) Athletic Training/Exercise Science  To call it what it is, this is a degree in P.E.  Who knew that you could major in dodgeball?  Do you think they offer classes in "dressing out" or "advanced mat-stacking techniques"?  Anywho, as comical as it is to think of your 8th grade basketball coach as an "exercise scientist", this degree could certainly lead a paying career, thus making it better than my MBA degree.  Graduates of the Athletic Training program at Alfred University have gone on to hold jobs at such prestigious places as Alfred State College and "High Schools".      

2) Criminal Justice Degree from ITT Tech  The jury is still out on whether ITT Tech is the great equalizer or a giant scam, but studying criminal justice can't possibly be a bigger waste of time than some of the classes I had to endure (Organizational Behavior - AKA lots of random videos, and International Business - AKA the US and the IMF are awful and you Capitalist pigs should be ashamed).  

3) Hotel Administration  At Harrah Hotel College at UNLV a student can major in any of the typical hospitality disciplines - food and beverage management, culinary arts, etc. - but you can also major in gaming management (including classes in thuggery, loan sharking, and stripper tipping, I'm sure), and PGA Professional Golf Management Program, where students are trained to be leaders in the golf industry.  How does that not sound like the funnest major ever??  What the eff was I thinking picking art history?   

4) Viticulture  Even though you'd no doubt have to sit through a bunch of boring science garbage about fermentation and temperature yada yada, making wine for school would kick ass absolutely.  The only drawback to this degree would be that you'd have to study with a bunch of oenophile douches like Milo from "Sideways".  How many weepy viticulture majors have tried Milo's "I'm delicate just like a pinot grape" speech on drunk chicks when they're trying to score?

5) Just about every other professional degree  This includes MAccs, JDs, MDs, and maybe even MPAs.  MBAs contribute so little actual added value that even boneheaded corporations realize this (but only during a downturn) and thus people like me can't get a job.  

1 comment:

  1. LOL, the only disagreement I'd have is the relative value of a professional/graduate degree. Of course, I'd rank MDs, pharmacy degrees, and MPAs as the most valuable, but a law degree is without doubt the worst--and among the most expensive--professional degrees around.

    Re: MAcc kids--I have many opinions about MAccs that I'll not go into here. (Those fresh-faced KU accountants are shortly going to be laid off by the truckload according to highly-placed sources....!)

    That stripper-tipping course sounds pretty sweet, though.