Monday, April 20, 2009

Why The Government Should Forgive My Student Loans


1) I took out my student loans so I could go to school and get a better job, and one day create new jobs.  This was a totally altruistic *wink wink* aim, and had nothing to do with wanting to go to private school to "find myself."  Anyways, the home loans which the government has since voided were taken out because the home buyers were greedy and/or stupid.  College students are just trying to be competitive, thus the government should reward this self-improvement with loan forgiveness.       

2) MBAs and entrepreneurs pretty much control job creation, but they can only be free to do this if they are not tethered by $500/mo loan payments.  If you eliminate the loans, you free up a lot of personal capital that can go toward handbags (operating expenses!), and you also allow people the freedom to work for non-profits, or start small businesses, join a cult...whatever.      

3) Why not me? If everyone else is getting their piece, I say students should get theirs too.  This isn't a very good reason, and as a Libertarian I'm sickened by my rabid lust for taxpayer money, but I stand by it. AIG's bailout subsidized millions in bonuses for people that aren't very good at their jobs.  So I feel like, as long as these a-holes get to keep the Bentley and the townhouse in the East 60s, I should get a little money so I don't have to drink to block out my sense of impending doom as my loans come due.

Please, President Obama, save me from a life of eating Cheerios and beer (beerios! yay!) - forgive my student loans!    

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