Sunday, May 31, 2009

Pondering life's important questions


When you suffer from AUS, you have a lot of time to think.  Thinking can be good and productive if you're Plato or Confucious or even Jessica Simpson.  Thinking can be bad for society however, if you're Ayn Rand, Karl Marx, or Sarah Palin.    

I've been thinking a lot about life's important questions lately.  Like, could God microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself couldn't eat it?  Or, if you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, why can't you just be whelmed?  And why do drive-through ATMs have braille buttons? Here's a list of some more things that have been on my mind lately:

1) Is 27 too old to have a belly-button ring?  I'm pretty sure 27 is too old to GET a belly-button ring, but is it too old to HAVE a belly-button ring?  If you don't have kids, can you keep your belly-button ring in forever?  It seems silly to have a ring in when you're 40 even if you have rock-hard abs, but if 27 is ok and 40 is too old, then what's the cut-off date?  Also, what other piercings do you have to drop as you age?  I think multiple ear holes are ok, but nipple rings seem like they definitely are over past age 25.   

2) Why don't vampires live in Alaska?  If vampires have to avoid sun, and Alaska has a crap-ton of darkness during the winter, why don't vampires live up there?  It seems like vampires in movies always live in New Orleans or L.A. - two places that probably get, on average, more sun than most of America.  So now if you're a vampire that has to work, you're severely limited in what kind of employment you can pursue.  Also, can a vampire go out on a cloudy day?  How much sun exposure can he sustain before his flesh melts?  If so, Seattle would be a great choice too.

3) Are you gay if you're a man who falls in love with a woman, but she's dressed as a man and you think she's a man?  This is the Yentl problem.  Yentl is a woman who wants to study at the yeshiva but can't because she's a girl.  She dresses up like a man, falls in love with her male roommate, and at this point I stopped watching, but I assume the roommate falls in love with her too.  So is he gay?  I can't answer this - he thinks she's a man, so when he falls in love with her he thinks he loves a man...so he's gay.  But she's actually a woman, and you could assume he's only falling for her because she's actually a woman...so he's straight.  So confusing.  

If you have answers to these questions please let me know.  Or if you have questions you'd like to pose to me, I can try to answer them (though chances are my answer will be either 42 or grizzly bear).    

2 comments:

  1. 1) no 27 is not too old to have a belly button ring. there is no age limit for any body modification, though if you get preggers, i believe you have to remove the belly button ring, or it will stretch or something- i would say there is also no age limit or any other piercings, though it would severely limit job prospects to have face piercings

    2) watch 30 days of night! its about vampires who discover a town in alaska that has 30 days of no sunlight

    3) ive seen parts of that movie, she looks like a girl! that always confused me- and sounded like a girl and has no adams apple...

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  2. Sweet - I knew vampires would flourish in Alaska.

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